THAT’S IT I QUIT

Sometimes I just want to quit. I want to hide. I don’t want to be known by everyone. I don’t want to play volleyball with the teachers. I don’t want to teach. I don’t want to practice Korean. I don’t want to go to Taekwondo, or yoga, or do anything else but sit in my apartment and get lost in thought.

As an extrovert with introverted tendencies, I simply must have some alone time too. When I don’t get it, I implode and throw mini fits in my head. Dancing alone in my apartment for a few hours usually helps. Binging on cheese does as well.

For me to fully process experiences, I have to take time to think about everything, and siphon what I’ve learned from daily interactions. Seems kind of crazy, but it’s how I function, focus, and stay positive. Blogging is a really good way for me to do this.

I don’t dwell on things that went wrong. If I did, I wouldn’t be where I am, or who I am today. I think about what could have gone better, and/or contemplate how I’ll change because of what I’ve learned.

Tonight I made a deal with myself. I decided to go to Taekwondo, but skip yoga. Nothing quite beats out stress and anxiety like kicking and screaming does. Taekwondo was the perfect jumpstart to another long night of pondering.

“That’s it I quit,” is a saying I remember from childhood. I still use it today, but dramatically and just for fun. The truth is I’ll never actually quit. I won’t give up. I’ll keep going because I have amazing people in my life that won’t let me do otherwise.

My mother always says, “Be true to yourself.” I don’t really know how I can be ‘true to myself’ if I’m constantly changing from the people I meet and the places I go. I understand what she means, however. The core of my being remains the same. I'm not a quitter.

Tonight I’ll meditate on a quote a friend recently shared. “Don't give up what you want most, for what you want right now.” The timing of these words is precise. I desperately need to refocus on what’s important, the big picture, what’s ahead, and why I’m here.

4 comments :

  1. I. Love. You.

    That is all,

    -p

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    Replies
    1. Love and miss you, Parker! Thank you.

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  2. That's it NEVER quit :) S

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    Replies
    1. SUE! Thank you for your constant encouragement. I'm so glad our paths crossed in life.

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